It’s the eve of yet another year..
i find myself standing at the exact same spot where i stood three hundred and sixty five days earlier (err.. not exactly.. just give or take a few meters.. Haha..).. and a few hours from now, i will marvel at the spectacular show of “glow-in-the-dark-rainbowy-thingies” (i’m seriously at a loss for words.. haha.. :P) that light up the night sky.. and then.. i will engorge myself with the year’s feast until i can feast no more! (Bwahaha..).. or if i feel the sudden urge to hurl.. whichever comes first.. Haha..
This is pretty much how my year-end agenda plays out.. but this isn’t what i wanna talk about. What i really wanna talk about… is “me”.. selfish.. self-centered.. and detestable ‘ol me.. haha.. i’m just kidding.. but pretty much everything that’s in here has “me” written somewhere in between the lines.. haha.. (0_o).. that aside.. let’s get back-on-topic..
i still can’t get over the thought that i’ve actually gone through another year.. another year of Pride.. Greed.. Envy.. Lust.. Gluttony.. Wrath.. and Sloth~liness (man.. have i lived or what?.. haha.. XD..).. And i still can’t believe that everything had really happened..
“was everything real?” or “was everything just a play of mind?”
These are the questions that play in my head when i find myself in deep S#!t trying to pick out the events that “really happened” from the “bizarre-o” stuff that leaks outta my head from time to time.. haha..
But on a serious note.. i don’t want to leave anything behind (whether the memories i have were a product of reality or the psychedelic counterpart.. Haha..).. Because if the events in my life really did happen (and i’m hoping that they did.. XD).. whether they be good or bad.. i wouldn’t want them to be just memories..
“i want them .. to conclude me..”
(i’m not sure how to explain this but i hope you caught my drift.. XD)
We are product of the decisions and the actions that we have made.. So by leaving all or bits of them behind, we leave a part of us..
And i know that most people are looking for a chance to forget with the new year.. and that they want to start over ‘coz their past memories are filled with nothing but stupid and painful mistakes.. but they have to get it straight that life isn’t supposed to be a piece of cake.. that’s just how it is.. cruel.. and suck~y.. haha.. What most people don’t see is that the pain is actually there for a reason.. it hurts.. but its a good hurt (i’m no maso btw.. seriously.. haha..)
“Pain is what forces you to grow..”
(Hard to believe.. but yeah.. Its true.. Ü)
“Pain is what forces you to be stronger..”
“Pain is what forces you to move forward..”
“Pain is what forces you to move on..”
So basically, what i’m trying to say is that.. as we move into a new year.. we must carry that past (no matter how painful it may be..) as a reminder for us not to redo our crappy mistakes.. (‘coz you’d seriously look like retard doing everything wrong all over again.. right?! Haha..).. And that you should live to “conclude” yourself (vagueness rocks!! Haha..).. Okay.. fine.. what i’m really trying to say is “live to be more of yourself”.. (hope that’s simple enough.. Haha..)
Enough of the explanations! Bring on the metaphors!! Nyahaha (0.o)
“Let Pain not be the weight that pulls you down..
rather.. Let Pain be the step that pushes you up..”
“Living is not about forgetting the crappy things in the past..
but Living is being able to get on top those crappy things and see the big picture..”
… … …
If the thoughts in this entry aren’t in proper order (grammar and spelling -wise..) then i would apologize sincerely.. and my excuse is that i just woke up from another wild night (ugh.. Haha..).. And i actually wrote this as a pre-breakfast (or lunch.. XD) thing.. so don’t expect much from someone who’s running on air and who hasn’t gotten his crap together.. yet.. err.. ever.. Haha..
i’m not sure if any of this makes sense to you but all of this rambling has made me hungry.. haha.. so.. ’til next year.. ~Bon Appetite~ (did i spell that right?.. Haha.. XD) andI would like everyone to have a GOOD YEAR ahead!! Wheee!! Later!! Haha!!
NOTE: Smi-ken~ing is ugh.. Eew.. Hahaha..