Suicide is one’s refuge.
It’s a person’s one way ticket to get out.
Out of the life that engulfs him to the point of drowning.
This life, a life filled with problems without answers and
dreams without ever reaching a single happy ending,
is a nightmare in which there is only one escape..
Death is the answer.
The answer to a life filled with anger and sorrow.
A state in which we are finally at peace.
No matter what a person did or how he has lived his life,
he is granted a blank slate
on which he is able to write a memory to call his own.
A memory where a man is able to live for an eternity in peace.
… … …
It’s no wonder why suicide has such an indistinct allure. It enables you to stop a lifetime filled with suffering. To tell you the truth, i’ve come across the thought several times. Yet, i still failed to commit. My only excuse is that i find the act selfish and cowardly. I keep reminding myself about the things that i would have to leave behind if i chose to push through with the act. The little things that i can look forward to give me the drive i need to move fotward… by the little things… i could be pertaining to really hot girls… Haha.. XD
I guess what i’m trying to do is give off the impression that i’m brave and that i’m completely confident about what lies ahead of me. This is so because i’m completely the opposite. Ever since i entered college, i felt an emptiness growing inside of me, a black hole that cannot filled. With each day, my humanity is consumed. And over the months i’ve spent confined to the four walls of the classroom, i’ve slowly lost whatever i had to look forward to and the people that give my life purpose. I guess it’s unavoidable . As time passes, we can’t help but watch everything around us fade until all that’s left is a distant memory.
I sincerely hope that as graduation draws near, i may find she who gives me purpose and keeps me looking forward. Pretty melodramatic huh?… Hahaha… XD
i’m not really fond of being ’emo’ but i guess it couldn’t be helped. Someone told me that it’d be cathartic if i just let it out.. I simply took her advice..
I thought that it would be better to dump this crap on old friends but I guess they outgrew me.. Haha.. anyway.. I originally intended for this blog to be filled with all crap of sorts.. So what the hell right?!.. Plus i’m kinda sure that no one would like to read random rants made by a potentially psychopathic dude.. Haha.. XD